Dream On

In January of 2013, I was giving a lecture in my advanced reading class at Valencia College. It was during the first week or two of the semester.  I always open up the lecture by sharing this quote:  "If you never have a dream, you'll never have a dream come true".  I spoke to my students about their dreams and the pathway(s) they would follow in order to achieve those dreams.  Then I asked my students if they were going to "talk the talk" or if they were going to "walk the walk". 

How many times in life do we talk about achieving something, yet we do nothing about achieving those goals?  At the end of the lecture, I had my students write down their dreams.  Then, for those willing to step outside of their comfort zones, I challenged my students to share their dreams with one of their classmates. It was at this point in the lecture, that I had an anxiety attack.  I had run out of dreams.  Yes, you read that right.  I had run out of dreams.  I had achieved every dream that I had wanted to accomplish for myself in my lifetime, other than eternal exaltation:

• Serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (July 1991-December 1992)
• Receive a bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University (April 1994)
• Get married to the "young man of my choice"  (December 1995)
• Buy a house (July 2000)
• Become a mother (September 1998, December 2003, May 2005)
• Receive a master's degree (Start date: September 1996 End date: June 2010)
• Find my "dream" job (August 2011)
• Be HAPPY (December 2011)  

That's it.  I had accomplished all of my dreams.  Now what?  I felt like a complete hypocrite standing in front of my students telling them to go after their dreams, when I had run out of dreams. 

Since then, I have had to make a new list of dreams. It's a work in progress. Here is one of my new dreams: 

"Get my head out of the food" by doing weekly food prep and menu planning like my sister Heather has been able to do. Master exercise/fitness like my sister Anne has been able to do. I want to exercise a minimum of four times per week, for at least 30 minutes per session. In other words,  I want to be just like my sisters when I grow up. 

I have always suffered from a variety of illnesses. You name the ailment, and I have probably had it. Instead  of not caring, and having the "you can just bite my big fat white butt" attitude, I am going to make my health and well-being my #1 priority. I am taking control of my health instead of my health taking control of me.  In this process, I want to lose 45 pounds by my 45th birthday. There. I said it. It's out in the open. No more secrets. No more hiding. No more excuses. Now it's time to dream, and make that dream become a reality. Peace out.